Art Show

Jingju has been drawing much more since she started kindergarten.

Spirited Away

I'm so in love with this film. We've been having a Hayao Miyazaki film fest lately. Jingju was a little scared by Spirited Away, but loved Ponyo and Kiki's Delivery Service.

On Ice

In the last week Jingju saw snow, went ice skating, met Santa, decorated our Christmas Tree, and sang Jingle Bells all for the very first time.

Thanks CASPY!

Dumplings

Jingju recently started going to a playgroup called Dumplings run by Yale China Care and a wonderful group of Yale students.

From their website:
"China Care is an organization that supports children living in Chinese orphanages as well as families living in the U.S. who have adopted children from China. Through its various programs, the group takes a proactive approach to providing greater opportunities for Chinese orphans, primarily through care, interaction, and education. China Care advocates for children in Chinese orphanages, assisting where possible in matching them with families in the United States. Furthermore, the group fundraises to help meet the cost of surgeries and medical care for orphaned Chinese children with disabilities. For more information regarding the organization, please visit their website."

Jingju has attended three Dumplings playgroups so far. At her first playgroup she played Chinese jump rope and learned to write Chinese characters. At another, the focus was on Chinese hair styles. Today Jingju learned how to make Dumplings. More and more I'm discovering how adept Jingju is with her hands. She watched a demonstration of how to fill and fold the dumpling wrappers, and then duplicated them beautifully as pictured above.

Pixie Hollow

Introducing Tinkerbell and Her First Halloween

It couldn't have been a better Halloween for Jingju. First she had a wonderful day at school on Friday. She participated in a school performance with her kindergarten class and sang a pumpkin song. Then all the lower grades paraded in costume down the sidewalk around the school. On Halloween, we went to a town that hosts a wonderful children's event. Main Street gets closed off to traffic and all the residents come out in costume for a big parade. Afterwards, there's lots of milling about, free popcorn and cider, and music from the Fife and Drum Corps. We got to town early so that Jingju could do her trick or treating and we walked along a beautiful street with grand houses overlooking the river. Jingju got the hang of things quickly after a little initial shyness. She yelled "Trick or Treat" and remembered her "Thank Yous," and delighted as her green pumpkin pail filled with candies. It was a long day and a bit of a long drive home, with Tinkerbell fast asleep in her car seat. Once home, I placed the sleeping pixie on her father's lap, and up she rode in the elevator and into our apartment. I helped her into bed and tucked her in. When I kissed her goodnight she said, "Mom, thank you for my Halloween."

Kung Fu

Jingju is taking a martial arts class at her Chinese school on Sundays. She's a little lukewarm to it, but goes willingly. They got their uniforms last week and I had hoped that might get her more excited.

Then I found out the Shaolin Warriors were in town:

After the performance, Jingju did Kung Fu moves all
the way back to the car. She has her class later today, so
I'm curious to see if she enjoys it more now. I was so sure
when I signed her up that she would love it. So we'll see.
If not, we'll try another sport or maybe dance. I'm crossing
my fingers for Kung Fu, however. I think Jingju would
make a fierce Shaolin Warrior. I wonder if the monks will
accept girls?

In Which
We Are Introduced to Winnie-the-Pooh and Some Bees,
and the Stories Begin

Jingju was a bit not well tonight with a touch of a fever. I put her to bed early, and because she was a not too bouncy sort of girl (she often is at bedtime), I thought to read her Winnie-the-Pooh for the first time. I wasn't sure if she'd love the silly old bear, since you never can tell with little girls. Well, she lay very, very still and listened very carefully. She was properly giggly at the at the giggly parts and nicely sleepy at the ending part. I would have liked to have read on to Pooh Goes Visiting and Gets Into a Tight Spot, but little girls with colds need to get their sleep. So, tomorrow we will visit the 100 Aker Wood again and meet the rest of Pooh's friends. I think she'll like that. I think she's that sort of girl...a girl who like bears and humming hums, and reciting tiddely poms.

Grace and Hope for Children

Jingju walked past the stores filmed in this video on her way to school every day.

Visit Grace and Hope for Children.

Candied Apples

We took Jingju to her first agricultural fair.

Language Loss

I have been a little sad this week for Jingju, who can't communicate very well with her two good friends from her orphanage. I want to recommend an article, Abrupt Language Loss in International Adoptees, to any parents waiting to adopt or recently home. I'm not sure what more we could have done at the time to help Jingju retain her Chinese; she stopped speaking it almost immediately. In China, I tried to speak Chinese to her, and she would understand me, but reply by nodding or using what little English she had learned. She spoke brief sentences and mostly one word answers to our guides when they tried to talk with her. When we got home, we took her to Chinese restaurants and Asian groceries weekly, so she could talk with people, but again, she didn't speak much, and didn't always seem to understand people speaking to her. I purchased Chinese CDs and DVDs while in China, and Jingju watched and listened to them frequently for weeks after coming home. She even sang along with the Chinese children's songs I regularly played, and still play, when driving in the car. I also would try to get Jingju to teach me words in Chinese and she would refuse. She just seemed to want nothing to do with speaking Chinese. We think Jingju was mostly speaking a Cantonese dialect even though Mandarin is what's spoken in the schools. This may have been a big part of the problem. Her dialect is a completely different language from Mandarin.

At the same time, Jingju was learning English quite rapidly. The article talks about cumulative cognitive deficits that can worsen when language development in the native language was already weak. Fortunately, we don't think Jingju is having any problem of this kind. The article makes recommendations about how to foster new language learning and points out the responsibility schools have to provide special education services besides ESL alone. We have enrolled Jingju in Chinese school and she started last week. She now seems to very much want to speak Chinese. Perhaps she's motivated by finding her old friends from her orphanage. I'm hoping she can relearn her Chinese as quickly as she's learned English. It may even be like learning a new language, since she's taking Mandarin Chinese, and we're really not sure how much Mandarin she was speaking in China. Kevin and I are sitting in on classes with Jingju so we can reinforce speaking at home. The article doesn't talk about how to reacquire language once it's lost.

Social Welfare Institute Of Beihai City

A few more pictures of Jingju, Tessa, and Yan Lan in China.

Top Picture: Left Yan Lan, right Jingju.

Middle Picture: Jingju in pink, Yan Lan opposite Jingju leaning on the cart. Tessa bringing up the rear looking at the shelves.

Bottom Picture: Left to right, Yan Lan, Tessa, unknown child, Jingju. The woman is Jingju's ayi (nanny).

Another Friend Found!

Another friend from Jingju's orphanage has been found! Last week, my friend, Sandra, who adopted Tessa (Jing Huan) from Jingju's SWI contacted me with information about a little girl recently adopted through her adoption agency. The little girl, Yan Lan, was missing her friends who were adopted before her
terribly and asked her mother, "how can we ever find them? We don't have their addresses." Through the power of the internet, and in a matter of hours, Yan Lan has been reunited with her good friend Tessa who lives just 2 hours away from her in Florida. In December, both Yan Lan and Tessa will come to New York City to meet up with Jingju. Jingju was very excited to speak with Yan Lan on the telephone. Jingju is really unable to speak any Chinese after 6 months in America, and Yan Lan, who has only been in the US a month, is still speaking mostly Chinese. Even though they couldn't really understand each other, Jingju was happy to hear her old friend's voice. Jingju started Chinese school last Sunday and we're hoping that with time, she'll be able to recover her original language.

These pictures are from the Half The Sky memory books of all three girls.

1st Day Of Kindergarten

Jingju had her first day of school yesterday. She had been a little apprehensive the week leading up to school starting, but she got up nicely in the morning and put her school uniform on without a fuss. That was a little hurdle as Jingju doesn't like to wear skirts or dresses and she didn't much like the uniform in general. I was allowed to walk with her to her classroom, but parents were quickly dismissed by her teacher. When I last looked at her, Jingju had a bit of a shell shocked look on her face, much like the look I saw when she first walked into the room to meet me on Gotcha Day. When I picked her up, Jingju was a much happier girl. She came running out of the classroom with a big smile and almost knocked me over with a hug. I think she was very relieved to have this day behind her. Later that night, we went to a friend's house for dinner, and Jingju insisted on wearing her uniform!

Sailing Softly

One of my oldest and closest friends invited Jingju and I out for a boat ride today. The weather was sunny and clear, perfect for an afternoon on the river. Jingju just loved it; waving to all the boats passing by, bouncing over waves, and swimming in the cove. Jingju doesn't yet know how to swim, but does that stop her? Of course not. Give her a life preserver and a noodle, and she's all set. A funny side note, my friend had made a joke about swimming to China, and by shear accident we moored at a buoy labeled "China," which Jingju then swam to. My friend's with Jingju in the slides below.

Clam Cakes And Chowder

Kevin needed to satisfy his yearly craving for clam cakes and chowder, so we drove to Rhode Island and had lunch with Nai Nai. I couldn't help myself taking pictures of Jingju today.

Jumping Rope

"Happiness" by Goldfrapp

Last Day Of Summer Camp

Yesterday was Jingju's last day of summer camp. We so want to thank our friends, Sally and Bill, who run the museum camp, for their incredible gift of a scholarship to Jingju to attend all summer long. Jingju just blossomed there in so many ways. We were worried about her shyness with other children, and by the end of camp she had made many friends. Her vocabulary has expanded to include such words as, menagerie, magnet, musical instruments, sandpaper, curiousities, crocodile, colorful, castle, electric, insect, and pottery. Each week she built a different project around a different theme or concept from building a cabinet and filling it with treasures, to creating a circus or learning about how to make electricity. My favorite parts of my day for the last 8 weeks has been dropping Jingju off at camp and picking her up. Jingju was in the camp's before and after care, which she really enjoyed. Basically it involved playing at the museum's outdoor water lab, hanging out with her friends and counselors and playing endless games of Uno. Every afternoon I'd pick Jingju up and find her either caked with sand, dappled with paint and/or soaking wet from her head to her shoes.

This child, once she feels safe, hits the ground running with arms open, eyes wide, with a desire to do, to touch, to try...everything, while laughing hard, smiling big, and as Jingju says, holding on "really really tight!" This experience at camp plugged Jingju into a world of play and learning, creativity and ingenuity, as well as a community of wonderfully talented and giving people...and with Sally and Bill around, lots and lots of humor always.

So... thanks Sally, Bill, Wanda, Melissa, and all the other counselors at the E.W. M. for helping Jingju to adjust and acclimate to her new American life. It was the right experience at the right time and we are forever grateful.

Last night we had dinner with friends and their two daughters. After dinner, one of the girls read to Jingju on the steps of the restaurant.

Jingju Plays Tennis

Jingju has a wonderful new babysitter, Fani, who took these pictures of Jingju while teaching her to play tennis.

Celebration!

Jingju, getting in the birthday spirit.

Happy Birthday, Jingju

Jingju turned 6 on August 10th. As far as we know, and from what she tells us, she has never had a birthday party. We had a small party for her with family and a few friends at home. In the morning, she opened her presents with Baba and I, and then later in the day her company came over. Tessa (Jing Xin), Jingju's SWI sister, sent Jingju some Chinese DVDs, CDs, and books, and so they Skyped in the morning so Jingju could open her presents with Tessa. It was a lovely day. Jingju made these videos, and of course, is heard singing.

Best Friends

With my friend Sandra finally coming home from China with her daughter Tessa (Jing Xin), I was motivated to scan the pictures in Jingju's Half The Sky life book, so that Sandra and I could share pictures of our girls. As Jingju's English improves, I am learning more about her life in China, and about her friendship with Jing Xin. They were best friends and slept side-by-side in a bed for four. We are planning for the girls to see each other in the next month or so. I can't wait to see them together.

The Dentist

I was trying to get Jingju out of the house on time for camp this morning. When I reminded her she had a dentist appointment this afternoon, she perked up and said, "hurry mom, I like to go to the dentist now." We have a wonderful dentist, and Jingju has no fear. The last time we went, she had to have a couple of fillings, and she was really intrigued by the numbing sensation of the novicane. Today she had to have more fillings done. At the dentist, she is most cooperative, and as always, curious and inquisitive. At one point, she actually got hold of some of the instruments and used them on herself. In one hand, she had the little water dispenser, and in the other, the suction thingy that sucks all the water out of your mouth.

Watching Moon Bears At The Zoo

First Swim

Jingju had never gone swimming before today. Thanks Shirley, for having us to your pool. Jingju loved swimming, and I did too.

Jingju Skypes With Jing Xin

My friend Sandra, is in China now with her newly adopted daughter, Jing Xin. Sandra and I met online through an adoption website and found that we were both adopting girls of the same age from the Social Welfare Institute of Beihai City. When we were in China, I asked Jingju if she and Jing Xin were friends and she said they weren't. When I received pictures and reports from Jingju's Half The Sky program, she was pictured very often playing with a girl named Jing Huan. The reports also said that Jing Huan was Jingju's best friend. When my friend Sandra created a blog of her adoption journey, I showed Jingju pictures of Jing Xin and she started to get excited about her coming to America. She would talk about her friend, Jing Xin, and I just figured she had created a story in her own mind that they had been friends. Sandra received her daughter in China a few days ago and the nannies told her that they don't use Jing Xin's given name, but they call her Jing Huan! Now it all makes sense that Jingju didn't know who I was talking about and why she responded positively to Jing Xin's pictures. The girls were able to Skype with each other for the first time last night. It was wonderful to see the girls reunited. Sadly however, Jingju has lost her Chinese almost completely in the 3 months that we've been home. We plan to get her a Chinese tutor ASAP and hope we can help her recover her language. Seeing Sandra with her daughter brings back so many memories of my time in China with Jingju. She has adapted so quickly to her American life. A part of me is grieving for the little girl I first met with her language and culture wholly intact.

I am so happy to have met Sandra and so excited now that it is finally her turn to hold her beautiful new daughter. And how wonderful that our girls have the opportunity to stay connected.

Parading

Jingju started camp this week, which means the end of our concentrated mother-daughter time together. I go back to full-time work on Monday, and Jingju will be at camp through August and start Kindergarten in September. This time together has been so wonderful, and how sad I am to have it end. Jingju on the other hand, is flying high out of the nest. I had planned to be at camp with her for the first few days to help her acclimate, but it was clear after just 30 minutes that she didn’t need her mama there at all. She has a kind of confidence and self-assurance that amazes me. This parade is the conclusion to a week of making musical instruments out of found objects.

Snow Leopard

Thimble Islands

Bronx Zoo

I've always loved the Lowland Gorillas at the Bronxz Zoo. Here's Jingju making a friend.

Another Rainy Day

It's been raining for days and I've been running out of indoor activities for Jingju. Today was also Father's Day, so what better way to spend it? Bowling, of course. We played two games. Jingju bowled gutter balls the entire first game and was beginning to feel a bit discouraged. Then one of the staff came over to me and asked if I wanted him to put up the bumper rails. I never knew there was such a thing. Well apparently these rails go up and it's practically impossible not to hit something. Jingju suddenly started knocking some pins down, and her interest in the game, restored.

They Might Be Giants Concert

Hula Hoops and Jump Ropes

Aquarium

Fun day with Nai Nai and Baba.

Tolerance

Peru is a most gracious gentleman.

Bubble Master

Just A Pleasant Day (Thanks Maureen)

Pony Rides And New Wheels

We finally got our new wheelchair ramp van. It is so wonderful to be able to have Kevin ride his power chair into the van. Now we can go anywhere and kevin can be more independent. We all went to the Little Folks Fair today and Kevin was able to see Jingju on her first pony ride. It's hard to believe it was 1967 when I rode the ponies at the same fair.

Back Pack, Back Pack!

Jingju loves, loves, loves her new back pack. It goes with her everywhere. I think we have "Dora the Explorer" to thank. Yesterday she really wanted a pencil case to put in her back pack, so I gave in for one with Charlie and Lola on it from one of her favorite books. It was like looking at myself tonight, to watch her carefully organizing and packing her bag.

Up

We took Jingju to see "Up," which just opened in theaters today. She loved it. She seemed to follow the story fairly well and was alert and interested from beginning to end.

Baba's Home!

Baba came home today and he seems in better shape than before he went into the hospital. Physical therapy has helped him quite a bit and now he'll have PT and OT at home for a while. Shortly after I brought baba home, I had to go out for little while to see a client. When I returned, the above is the scene I came home to. I love that baba is home less than an hour and he's been stickered and braceleted!

Peanut Butter Cookies

Another lovely day with my daughter. Baba has been moved from the hospital to a rehab center for physical therapy and so Jingju and I are still on our own. I can't get over how Jingju's English is improving and how well we're communicating. On our way to visit baba today, I passed a convenience store where the day before I'd picked up a newspaper for him. As I drove by, Jingju said, "Baba's newspaper!" I turned around to go back for a paper and she said, "Jingju remember," while pointing to her head. She doesn't miss a thing. I have to be careful now what I say as it all gets repeated back to me. All day today, Jingu asked me, "mama, you OK?" And her other favorite, "What are you doooooooing?" Tonight we made cookies for a party we're going to tomorrow. They didn't come out very well, but we had lots of fun anyway.

Hello Goodbye

Children's Museum

Jingju's baba is in the hospital with pneumonia, so I took her to the Children's Museum to keep her busy. She seems to be doing OK with her father being sick. When we drove home from visiting her father, she was in the back seat repeating, "Baba sick, baba OK," which is how I've explained it to her. And he should be OK. When he gets sick, his MS symptoms get exacerbated, but he usually bounces back. We're hoping he'll be transferred for some inpatient physical therapy before he comes home.
I'm getting some nice time alone with Jingju, and a little respite from caregiving (it was a little exhausting leading up to baba's hospitalization), but I don't like Jingju and her father being apart for too long. They haven't had as much time to bond. Fortunately, Jingju and her baba are both very resilient!

On a side note, the goggles Jingju is wearing are her work goggles for summer camp at a museum she'll be attending in June. When I took her to visit the museum to try out a sample building project, she refused to put them on. We brought a pair home to encourage her to wear them and now she never takes them off! She calls them her "sun galasses," and wears them whenever we go out.

Jingju Gives In And Wears A Dress

Jingju has been unwilling to wear a dress until today. I think the matching dress for her American Doll made the idea more appealing to her, and she finally consented.

Jingju Says, "Not Sleepy."

Oh, but she is sleeping. These photos were taken during Jingju's first 2 hours of sleep one night. She is a very restless, but very sound sleeper.

Have Wheels, Will Travel

Jingju and her baba, headed for the park.

A Day At The Park And Another New Friend

It was finally a beautiful sunny day, so I took Jingju to a park to have lunch with a friend and her daughter (also adopted from China and now almost 12). I was pleased to see Jingju able to be apart from me. She took my friend's daughter's hand and went off to the playground with her. My friend's daughter also taught Jingju how to play the game, G0 Fish. She was very patient and kind to Jingju and took a great interest in teaching and entertaing her at the park.

New Friends

Goldfish and Grapes

First Play Date

Taking A Break

Jingju Gets A Bike

Today Jingju had her first play date. She had lunch with her new friends, and after lunch, she was given a bicycle to keep that our friend's children had outgrown. Jingju hopped on the bike and took off down the driveway before learning how to use the breaks. She ended up safely on the grass giggling, thinking her near accident was very funny. Once she got the breaking business down, she was off and peddling. She loves her new helmet, another gift from our friends, and wouldn't take it off until she got home. I thought she might want to go to sleep with it on, but no, she preferred to take her umbrella to bed instead!

Monkey Bars

Swinging

Finally Meeting Baba

First Boat Ride and Saying Goodbye to China

This evening, our last in China before going home, we took Jingju on a boat ride tour around the Shamian Island. All along the canal, the buildings, boats, and Bridges are lit up like Christmas trees. Jingju really enjoyed the ride and took lots of photos. In just a few hours we board a plane to take Jingju home to meet her father, her family, and start her new life.

The Red Couch

Today was our last day in Guangzhou. This afternoon we went to the U.S. Consulate to obtain Jingju's visa, and finalize the whole adoption process. After that, we went back to the White Swan to take photos on the famous red couch where all families staying at the hotel have their picture taken.

Susan's Place Again

I took Jingju back to Susan's Place this afternoon to have tea and to talk with her new friend. Susan, the owner, and her 3 year old son was there.

Jingju Being Jingju

Hard Boiled Eggs And French Fries

Well, not much to report again today, other than Jingju is getting more and more comfortable with me each day. Today I got a kind of sort of hug from her. She's not used to physical affection, and so I have not pushed it, but this afternoon she came over and leaned up against me to look at pictures with me and she put her arm around me.

This morning we had to go to the Consulate, which is about 45 minutes away, so that I could sign a missing document. That pretty much took up our whole morning. So the pictures for today, I'm afraid, are again of my darling little girl eating. She has had a hard boiled egg every day and will not eat eggs prepared any other way. I have also discovered that she likes french fries. I can't help it, I love watching Jingju eat!

Jingju in the "Momma Bag."

Tea Time

After our lunch and walk in the park, we went to a little shop near the White Swan, Susan's Place. There, Jingju had lots of fun playing with the toys and looking at everything on the shelves. The owner's husband is from the same area that Jingju comes from, near Beihai City. Our guides have told me that Jingju doesn't always understand their dialect, and so she often answers with "yes," "no," or "I don't know." This man spoke her dialect, and for the first time, I heard my daughter having a real conversation. She and this man sat down and had tea together. He showed her how he steeps the leaves and washes the cups. It was wonderful to hear Jingju's voice and watch her interact with him. I plan to take her back tomorrow for tea again so they can talk some more.

Blowing Bubbles

This morning Jingju had her medical exam. She got through it very well, and afterwards, she and I went back to the hotel for a nap together, as mommy has a cold and needed to rest. After our nap, I took Jingju for lunch at Lucy's, just the two of us. I had brought my usual "momma bag" full of activities to keep Jingju occupied, but she wasn't interested, and for the first time, engaged with me throughout our whole meal. She spontaneiously counted the pictures on the wall, up to ten (we've been practicing), and played a game with me using the items on the table. Afterwards, we went to the park behind the restaurant, and Jingju blew bubbles. She had been wanting to play with her bubble set, and we kept forgetting to bring it with us so she could play with it outside, and not in the hotel room, as she has wanted to do.

Tickling Jingju

In Love Watching My Daughter Eat

More Pearl Market

The Markets

This afternoon we went to the jade and porcelain market and a place to buy pearls.

More at the museum

Guangdong Folk Arts Museum

Today we took Jingju to the Guangdong Folk Arts Museum. She was particularly interested in the sculpture room and looked at each work of art for some time. At the gift shop, she watched scrolls being painted and had a chop of her zodiac sign carved with her name on it.

About Pleasant Goat And Big, Big Wolf

Jingju is just hooked on this cartoon series. A film version of it was just released in China and has been a surprise success. The theme song is very cute and will stay in your head all day, so if you watch it, beware. The following link tells a little about the characters.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2009-01/21/content_7417982.htm

Bedtime at the White Swan

Pleasant Goat and Big, Big Wolf before bed.

















Jingju in a Todler-size bed.
The Hotel charges 200 Yuan
per night
for an extra
regular size bed.
She loves it!

Last Breakfast At The Majestic

Doing everything
but eating!

At the White Swan

We left Nanning today and are now at the White Swan Hotel. Not much to do today. We had lunch and walked along the Pearl River. Tomorrow we'll have a tour of the area. Jingju had her first plane ride today and seemed to enjoy the take off and landing. Right now Jingju's having fun exploring our hotel room... a little too much fun. She definitely has a mischievous side, but it's wonderful to hear her laugh.

The People's Park

Today was a low key kind of day. This morning we had to be at the hotel to look over some documents. In the afternoon, Jingju and I took a walk to the People's Park. There, Jingju fed some fish from the Zig Zag bridge. Tomorrow we fly to Guangzhou.

More Jingju at the museum

Rainy Day in Nanning

It was raining today, so we took Jingju to the new Gaungxi Science and Technology Museum. She had a blast and is really really starting to come out of her shell. I've had to learn how to say "careful" and "not safe" in Chinese. She's starting to test a little, how far she can go. Last night she tried to do headstands in the bathtub! Her laughter is music to my ears. She's also starting to feel more confident repeating words in English. She really didn't want to try the first few days. The following pictures are from our day at the museum.

Loves Noodles

More "Pleasant Goat and Big, Big Wolf."

Watching "Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf."

What Jingju chose to have for Breakfast

More of Jingju's handiwork...

Today our guide
took us on a tour
of a local market.
These pictures were
taken by Jingju!
She very carefully
chose what to
photograph.

And one more...for now.

More pictures...

Having a hard time, but being very brave.

The hotel’s internet has been down!!!!!!!

03-30-2009, Gotcha Day
I had wanted to write about this most incredible day, but there’s so much to say and I’m so exhausted, so I’ll be brief. Right now Jingju is lying next to me trying hard not to go to sleep. Every time I look over at her she just smiles a kind of impish smile as if to say, “nope, still awake.”

So I’ll just say that so far she seems to be doing beautifully, Saying goodbye to her nanny was tough on Jingju, but she got through it. Hannah, our guide has really been terrific, and helping both Jingju and I to get through these first few days.

03-31-09, Adoption Day
Jingju is just doing amazingly well. She is becoming less shy by the minute. and is settling in to her new surroundings. Sandra! Thanks for the Nihao, Kai-lan DVD. Jingju loves watching it. She also loves taking things in and out of the little pocket book I gave her.

We had our interview appointment earlier today and Jingju is now officially our daughter! I can’t believe this beautiful little girl is really, finally ours.
I’ll let the pictures say the rest.

In China!

Well it’s the end of a long day of traveling (3 flights and 2 bus rides), but we’re here in China! I had a little melt down at Bradley airport yesterday morning, when it was announced our flight was going to be delayed and possibly cancelled. The first leg of our trip was Bradley to O’hare with just one hour in Chicago to make a connecting flight to Shanghai. The feeling was pure panic. Fortunately it was fairly quickly then announced that the flight would leave after all giving us just enough time to make our next flight.

At the airport in Shanghai, we met up with Fang, who manages the China program at our adoption agency. She escorted us on a bus to the city to catch a domestic flight to Nanning. It was great to see her, and we had time to have a bite with her at the airport before we had to catch our next flight. Our guide, Hannah met us at the airport in Nanning. We love her!

Not much else to report other than the big news that tomorrow is Gotcha Day. In 16 hours I’ll meet Jingju.

The Last important Call!

The last two important calls came yesterday and today. Yesterday we got our Travel Approval (TA) and today we got our Consulate Appointment (CA) at the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou.. The CA is tentatively scheduled for April 7th and will be confirmed tomorrow. This is when Jing Ju's Visa is issued and her adoption is finalized. I have to be in China about 10 days earlier, so I'll likely leave around the 28th of March.

How will I ever sleep or function this week? I just want to sing and jump and giggle!

Waiting For Jing Ju Plum

Surprise Photos!

A few days ago I sent a care package to Jing Ju through a website, redthreadchina.com. I enclosed 2 disposable cameras for the orphanage staff to take pictures of Jing Ju, some treats for the staff and children, and a book and a bracelet for Jing Ju. This morning, I received an e-mail from Ann, who personally takes care of these orders. I had no idea that Ann, as part of her service, contacts the orphanage to request recent photos and updated info regarding your child. These 3 photos were sent to me this morning, and as anyone in the adoption community knows, are priceless!

We got the call!

It's now official! We have been approved to adopt Jing Ju! I've been told I can expect to travel at the end of March or early April. Here's a new picture I received of Jing Ju out of the blue last week. I made a connection with a woman who has been Jing Ju's sponsor through Half The Sky. I now have pictures of her at different ages as well as progress reports...such a gift. I'll post others at a later date, but this is my favorite and was taken this past December.

Feeling Hopeful

My social worker just called to tell us our
Pre-Approval was received today!

Introducing Jing Ju

I am pleased to announce that we have accepted the referral of a little 5 1/2 year old girl named Jing Ju. She is from Beihai City in the south of Guangxi. We have sent a Letter of Intent to China, and are now waiting to receive a Letter of Acceptance. After that, we wait for our Travel Approval. Our social worker thinks it's possible I will be going to China in about 3 months! When I read the following passage from Jing Ju's record, I knew we'd found our daughter:

"In May 2005 Jingju participated in the little sisters’ class in Social Welfare Institute of Wuzhou. In Aug.2007 when she returned to Social Welfare Institute of Beihai city she went on to participate in the little sisters’ class. By the excellent education of the teachers she looks very active and cute all the time in the activities and is a kind-hearted girl. Jingju participated the little sisters’ class and have a happy group life. Led by teachers Ju went to the zoo and open country for many times, met the tigers taught in textbooks and observed moving ants carefully, as well as drew pictures by herself. In class Ju is always attentive, has good receptive ability, can finish cutting paper and jigsaw with both hands. Ju speaks lightly, has sweet smile and fair complexion, always brings happiness to peers around her. Whenever the caretaker allocates snack food to the kids, when she gives food to Ju and Ju finds that the kid beside her does not have it, she will share it with the kid, sometimes Ju can be jealous when other kids ‘occupied’ her teacher."

So, it's happening. I'm finally going to be a mother!

Change In Plans

As I've posted before, the wait to adopt a child from China is long and growing longer. I've been following various China adoption blogs, and I've come to fear that Kevin and I are in a very precarious position. I estimate our current wait to be about another 4 years. Yup, you read me correctly. I'd like to have a child before I'm 50, and we're concerned that by the time we're given a referral, CCAA will deny us, due to our ages and the added issue of Kevin's MS diagnosis. We could very possibly hang in for the next 4 years and then be denied at the point our dossier finally makes it to the matching room.

So here's the new plan. We've decided to switch to China's Special Needs program. China designates adoptees who have one or more medical conditions as well as children over the age of six as special needs. Many of these medical issues have already been treated or surgically corrected. By switching, we can very likely reduce our wait time, and possibly have a referral come to us at any time. We've submitted a list to our adoption agency of medical conditions that we feel we'd be able to handle, and that generally have a good prognosis. So, I'm figuring out how the process works as we go. From what I've learned so far, CCAA sends a monthly shared list of waiting children to all adoption agencies participating in the special needs program. When the list goes out, there's a kind of scramble among the agencies to match children to their prospective parents. When they find a match, they have to lock in that child so no other agency has access. They can hold that child for 48 hours to give the prospective family time to decide if they want to move forward with the referral. After 48 hours a child's file can be locked for 48 hours two more times to give more time to review medical records and make a decision. This month's list apparently came out last night. I've had my phone in my pocket all day, hoping it would ring. It's now 9:30pm and no call. Most likely our social worker was unable to find us a match today. So..., this is the drill that we will go through each month until our agency finds us our match!

Here's a few other details. We are now connected with the Yale International Adoption Clinic. We met with a doctor who helped us make our decision about what special needs we can comfortably handle. When we get a potential referral, we'll take the records there to be reviewed. If we accept, we then have to send CCAA a Letter of Intent, and then we wait for a Letter of Approval. If we're going to be denied, this is when I think it will happen. If we're approved, the current time frame for how long it will be before I go to China, is about 4 months.

The following is a list of the special needs we've said we can accept:

Hepatitis B
Thalasemia Minor
Atrial Septal Defect (ASD)
Ventricular Septal Defects (VSD)
Cleft Lip/Palate
Club Foot
Strabismus (Crossed Eyes)
Ptosis (Droopy Eyelids)
Hernia

Soon We'll Be Found

Happiness

Adoption Land

There's a website called China Adopt Talk that I visit daily. It's hosted by the Rumor Queen who posts information about the latest news in China's adoption program. She recently took a poll among us followers of her site to get a sense of the number of people withdrawing their applications from China due to the long wait. The results indicate that about 29% have given up. Here's a quote from RQ's post:

"As has been pointed out, the numbers for the “planning to leave” survey are likely low, as some who have their Plan B coming along nicely are no longer checking in with this site. I think it is fair to say at this point that somewhere between 50 and 60 percent of those who were logged in during 2006 are planning at this time to accept their referral when it arrives. We are edging very close to half.

At what point does this massive amount of attrition begin to show up in referrals? It seems that as people pull out the CCAA just refers less babies, keeping the days referred continuing on a downward trend."

This is just too sad for words, and so complicated in terms of how one should feel. A part of me was feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time that attrition rates might speed up the process for those of us still in line. Those feelings are in conflict with the sadness I feel for those giving up their dream of adopting from China. Then there’s the news that attrition may have no impact on referrals and I think of all the children who may be spending years longer than they should growing up in orphanages. Does it all come down to Orphanage directors having no incentive to make their children available for adoption? I imagine it’s more complicated than that (or at least I hope so). As a social worker, I have seen how the mission of helping people can get mired in a myriad of issues; funding, policy, lack of resources, competing agendas, etc. I work with young adults who have aged out of our child protective services and I see the impact on my clients from years of institutionalized living. I have to believe that no one thinks that’s acceptable.

I also am constantly checking in with myself and asking if my own need to have a child is also what’s best for her. My husband has MS and has become more disabled since we started the adoption process. I am aware of the potential ways a child might be affected by having a disabled parent. I keep coming back to all the positive things both I and my husband have to offer a child. I’ve lost the point of my rambling, I think. I guess I’m trying to make peace with the overwhelming uncertainties inherent in this situation. China is our only option and the clock may run out on us at some point. I ‘ll try to have an “if it’s meant to be” kind of perspective, but the truth is, this is a painful, anxiety-making, gut-wretching, journey were on. I wish I could jump ahead and read the last chapter to see how it all turns out… wouldn’t that be nice.

Just Thinking...

I've been thinking lately about how I’m going to handle the long wait ahead. My husband is disabled, which has added a whole other layer of anxiety to this experience. First we had to get pre-approved, a “no guarantee go-ahead,” which basically meant, “send your dossier to China, it’s worth a shot.” We then spent the next year making logistical changes to make life easier. We sold our condo and are now renting a single level apartment because my husband can no longer climb stairs. At the same time, we went through a year-long wait for his electric wheel chair to be built and approved by the insurance company–not quite as painful as waiting for a child, but close! I’ve been working extra hours to get us more financially secure and though I’m tired all the time, I tell myself it will be so worth it in the end. Two weeks ago we were told our dossier was in review and that CCAA had some questions they wanted us to address, mainly about my husband’s health. So now, I guess we are waiting to hear that the review of dossiers through March ‘07 has been completed, and if we haven’t been rejected, we can assume we’re now waiting for a referral. At a recent Waiting Families meeting at my adoption agency, a staff member kept saying that even though the wait is hard, we will all get a child in the end. To me however, she said, there is no guarantee. This waiting would be so much easier if I could know for sure that I will have a daughter in the end. The thought that we might wait another two years (or longer), and then be told in the end, sorry, no child for you, is a thought I am constantly pushing out of my mind. Because of our special circumstances, we have no other options than China. So I am resigned to seeing this through. A waiting father at that meeting reminded me that waiting doesn’t mean stopping. That was helpful to hear. Now I just have to give some thought as to what that means for me… voice lessons maybe?

How I Stay Sane While Waiting To Adopt A Child From China

My husband, Kevin and I, are adopting a child from China. We submitted our paperwork (dossier) over a year ago and it was given what's called a "Log In Date"(LID). Think of the LID as the date the clock starts ticking for our wait to be given a referral for a child. Our LID is March 19, 2007. When we first started the adoption process, the estimated wait time from LID to referral was about 15 months. Currently the wait is approximately 30 months and getting longer. My best guess, which is really wishful thinking, for when our referral might come is sometime in 2010. Right now the February '06 families are next in line.

Enough of that. We decided to adopt an older child, 3-5 years old, as we have some complications that make having an infant more challenging. More on that maybe at another time.

To make the wait bearable, I started knitting toys for our daughter. Since I won't know her age and size until the very end, toys and non-clothing projects are all I can really do. Let's see how many more get added to this site by the time we receive our referral!